Footsteps
by Kaitley
Summary: -It is the noise of despair; it fills her, becomes her and echoes around her.- The questions haunted him. They never could leave his mind. "Why couldn't I have stopped her? Why couldn't I have seen what was right before my eyes?" - T for death/sad themes


**Hey guys! Here's a oneshot that I have been working on for… actually, quite a few months now. Enjoy, and make sure to read the AN at the bottom! Also: have Never Too Late by Three Days Grace playing in the background. Sets the mood/tone. Italics are their fight.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, and I'm too lazy to come up with a cool disclaimer. (I blame it on Nature9000 for making me fall off my bed laughing. ITS EMOTIONALLY DRAINING!)**

Footsteps echo throughout the stage as he slowly trudges onto it. Nobody cheered or clapped. No other sounds were made as he picked up his guitar and sang the opening lines into the microphone that sat in front of him.

The polished, but worn, deep maple wood of his -no-**her** guitar gleamed in the bright stage lights.

It was the one thing she had left him; the beautiful instrument that he had admired before and cherished now. Nobody thought she'd be one to play the guitar. But that was just one more thing they didn't know about her. _Sam tosses her purse to the ground and plops on the couch where she kicks off her shoes.  
><em>**It is all you have left.** A lone tear escaped and rolled down his cheek as he remembered the life he left behind. But he also knew he could never go back.  
>She was dead now. If only he had listened more closely: had followed the warning signs.<br>_"No, you don't know what I'm going through, so how about you shut up and leave me alone!" She yells. He counters. "Look Sam, I'm just trying to be there for you."_ If only he could undo the damage done. But he could not. It was all over now.  
>After she died, he couldn't live with himself. He ran. He left his old life and never looked back; no matter how many or much at times he had wanted to.<br>She was everything to him. Now, he would never see her again.  
>She had wanted too much; that was her problem. She had lived through too much. She was scared of you walking away. <em>He tries to reason with her.<em> He thought she had moved on. That's what she told you anyways. But it wasn't true.  
>She could not be helped: no matter how hard anyone tried. It was too late. She was meant to be free: to live without restrictions. Nobody would let her live like she should have: to love without rules.<br>He tried. He had tried so hard. _He slowly sits down next to her and gently strokes her leg; trying to reassure her._ Nobody could keep her on this earth. Nothing could save her; not even him. And every day, memories and nightmares haunted him. Even he knew he couldn't save her. _"You're right, I know have you," she starts off bitterly, "Because you won't ever leave me the fuck alone when I tell you to."_  
>The tears flowed freely now. Singing and playing guitar were ways to rid his pain; one that had helped him through so many hard times in his short and terrible life. Now he had made a life for himself despite the pain. He knew he had to live for her; to be what she now could not. <em>"What is wrong with you!" he screams at her and she shuts up immediately. "I'm just trying to help you and you keep shoving me away, what did I ever do to make you so angry?"<br>_He had cried by her tombstone one last time: had placed one last lily on her grave. Then he left. He could not bear the sorrow. It was too much to live with.  
>He dragged himself to the airport: and despite how much his heart was telling him not to, he knew he had to be free. He had flown away from Seattle. The dreary city in which rain pours down on you; crushing your hopes and dreams. Depressing you. He had hoped to escape from his old life; from those feelings that would never grow old. But they haunted him still. He could not escape the despair no matter how hard he tried. But any way you choose to look at it, he had flown to another life; a life away from all he had ever known. And he still doesn't know if he regrets it. <em>"You know what Sam, all I try to do is be kind to you and you repay me by being…" he trails off unwilling to finish his sentence.<em>  
>He had remembered the good times: cherished even the bad ones. But he could not stop the tears flowing freely down his face now. He could not stop remembering that day. <em>"Being a what?" she asks. "What were you going to say?" she probes him, now standing in front of him and shoving his shoulder with each sentence. He breaks and verbally attacks her.<em> The day his whole world was turned upside down, the day his life had been torn to pieces. Their hopes and dreams had shattered before his eyes in those short moments. The moment she had jumped, and the moment the words "I'm sorry, she's gone." were uttered.  
>He knew they could have had so much: could have done so much together. He could never get back the time they had lost. It was too late. <em>"By being an evil, unfair little <em>_**bitch**__ like your no good, deadbeat, shit for brains Mother, that's what your being! Are you happy now Sam? Because god knows I can't make you happy by being nice.," he shouts in her face._  
>Memories crowded his mind to the point of bursting; as if any more would make his head explode. Their lives had had so many twists and turns. <em>A tear escapes her eye and he knows he's gone too far, but he can't take back what he's said<em>. They had gotten through them all; together. But now, more than a world separated them; more than he could ever dream of. So many things were left undone: so many adventures left unexplored.  
>He knew he had to move on in order to live; but it was too hard. He had loved her with all of his heart, and he never even got a chance to say goodbye. <em>She storms over to the table next to the couch and grabs the lamp. She tugs at it furiously and pulls the cord out of the wall; then hurls it at him as hard as she can.<em> It just was not fair. What did he ever do to deserve this mess? What did SHE ever do? Why had the 'kind world' turned its back?  
>Day after day, night after night, memories haunted him. Because he knew inside that he could have stopped this day from coming. He knew that he could have turned her life around. If only he had listened more closely<em>. He ducks, just barely in time, and the lamp hits the wall with a loud CRASH! The next thing he knows, it's in pieces on the floor. She falls to her knees and starts to sob.<em> But now, it was too late for them all.  
>Nobody seemed to care for or about him. After she died, everyone deserted him. His friends had run away from their problems, and, unintentionally, he had soon followed. He was alone, alone in a different world; stranded on a deserted island of lost dreams and hopeless hearts. <em>"Sam, I'm sorry, don't make me leave; I love you." he pleads with her and she stands to scream at him once more.<br>_And it was over. _"Leave." she whispers._ He softly sang the closing lines, voice breaking at the last moment. He was so close to tears now; so close but so far away. Just like her. _"Well I hate you!" she shouts at him. "I hate you and I want you to leave so why don't you just LEAVE!" she screeches at him._ He put down his guitar onto the ice-cold steel floor. Ice-cold like his heart. He walked offstage. Nobody came after him because nobody was there to come after him. At these times, to an outsider it may look as if he was playing to empty seats. But in his heart, the songs were to her, and only to her. Almost as a form of an apology, he had sung; voice full of strained grief and love. He was playing to an empty audience with a full heart. _He turns and walks for the door. As he reaches it, she realizes that the death of this relationship is her own fault.  
><em>The song reminded him of what he could have done. The questions haunted him. They never could leave his mind. "Why couldn't I have stopped her? Why couldn't I have seen what was right before my eyes?" _After he is gone and it is too late to stop it, she falls back onto her knees and lets out one more scream. It is the noise of despair; it fills her, becomes her and echoes around her. Slowly the scream forms a word, and not just a word, but a name. His name is what she screams at the tip of her lungs and only hopes that he can hear it and will bring him back, but he can't, and he won't, and her scream becomes a whimper as she pulls herself onto the couch.  
><em>He had tried so hard to live, but the world he knew would never come back. All this because of one simple thing; one little falling-out moment. One simple argument that changed so much. _And with that whimper, she bangs the final nail into the coffin of their happiness._ Living is too hard when you have nobody to love. And despite the pain, he went on; no matter how much it hurt. _She grabs a pillow and curls up around it on the couch. And she can't stop his voice from echoing in her mind."Sam," he begins. "I'm so sorry about your mom."_

**The end of my (sort of depressing) one-shot! Basic plot in case you didn't get it: Sam's mom dies, and Sam is crushed. Freddie is just trying to be nice, but is almost overlooking her feelings because he is trying to be so reasonable. Sam ends up committing suicide because of her mom and her relationship with Freddie. I like the ending because it's almost like a 'the cycle begins again' type of story. (well, you get what I mean by 'like.')**

**Some random stuff.. Well, this isn't so random: thank you a thousand times over to electricstories96 for writing the ENTIRE fight scene! I couldn't write it and was drawing a total blank so yeah. He is so awesome, so go read and review his stories! Also, he just wanted me to say that if you guys are interested, he will post the fight scene as a one-shot in itself. I used most of it here, but not all of it. So just leave in a review if you want him to post it as a oneshot on his account. Hope this all made sense, Running is in the process of being edited (and possibly with a new name) so yeah.. Review!**


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